Why peeing in a cup makes you wildly popular.

I think I got more mail after this column than any other I’ve ever written…

Foodie with Family

Comic relief offers diversion in busy lives

By Rebecca Lindamood
Local columnist

Read Rebecca’s past columns here

I have a long-standing tradition of overdoing it.

Which “it”? Basically anything that can be overdone.

I try to carry too many groceries at once. I am homeschooling, trying to grow a home baking business, raising five boys, trying to be a supportive wife, trying to move from the home where we’ve lived for 10 years into a home we have to retrofit for septic, electric and plumbing systems. Oh — and occasionally, I try to fit in a cup of tea, too.

My life may be crazy, but if I didn’t try to cram in so much at once, I’d miss out on the funny stuff. For example:

Two weeks ago I made well-child appointments with the pediatrician for all five kids at once. I knew that my husband would be unavailable to come with me, but I scheduled it anyway.

We arrived at the doctor’s nearly on time, piled and pushed our way into the front door and were quickly shown into our exam room. The nurse came in with little cups and asked the boys to give her “samples.” The eldest boys went to the restrooms while I had a heart-to-heart with my 5-year-old. I asked him if he knew what he had to do. He did. I wondered whether he could go by himself or whether he wanted me to come with him. He puffed himself up and informed me that he knew how to “go in a cup.”

His brothers returned and I saw him down to the restroom. I went back to the other boys. After what seemed a reasonable amount of time, I returned to the bathroom door and asked, “You OK in there?” He responded, “Not doing so great Momma, can you come in?”

I opened the door and beheld a styrofoam cup on the floor in front of the toilet, my 5-year-old standing about three feet from it with his trousers around his ankles and an ever-growing puddle in the cup’s general area. I suggested he pick the cup up and try it that way while I was cleaning up the puddle. His eyes brightened, he got a huge smile on his face and he said, “Oh! That’s great! I thought that was cheating. This will be much easier!”

We finished off the appointments, did a week’s worth of grocery shopping, used the kids’ Book-It certificates to eat lunch at Pizza Hut, dropped something off at a friend’s house and then went home to a crockpot busily filling my house with great smells.

Mercifully, when I overdo it in the food category, the results are usually pleasing. The recipes below make quite a bit, but they’re so good.

Cuban Style Crockpot Meat

• 1&1/2 lbs. boneless, center cut pork chops
• 1&1/2 lbs. boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 1/4 c. cider vinegar
• 1/2 c. packed brown sugar
• 1 t. dried oregano
• 2 cloves garlic, pressed or minced
• 1 onion, peeled and chopped
• 2 T. olive oil
• Juice of one lime
• 1 8-oz. can tomato sauce
• 1/4 c. prepared yellow mustard
• 2 T. hot sauce
• 2 T. brown sugar, packed
• Coarse black pepper to taste

Combine first nine ingredients in crockpot. Cover and cook on low eight hours or until fork tender. Remove meat to a large bowl, cover lightly with foil and whisk remaining ingredients in the crockpot with the cooking juices. Shred the meats with two forks and return to the crockpot, cover and cook on high until bubbly (about 15 minutes.) Serve with steamed rice and fresh fruit salsa.

The following is a staple in our house.

FMC Mango Salsa

• 1 seeded and chopped jalapeno pepper
• 1 chopped red onion
• 1 navel orange, peeled with a knife to remove pith, cut into quarters and then thinly sliced
• 2 mangos, peeled, pitted and chopped roughly
• 1 can black beans, drained and rinsed
• 1 clove garlic, pressed or minced
• Juice of one lime
• Coarse salt to taste
• Coarse black pepper to taste
• 1/4 c. cilantro, chopped, optional

Toss together all ingredients lightly and serve immediately. Store leftovers tightly covered in the fridge. This is best eaten the day it is made but it’s not bad as leftovers.

Pepperoni and Cheese Bread

• 2 ¼ t. instant yeast
• 2 T. sugar
• 1&1/4 c. warm water (100° to 110°)
• 1 T. butter, cut into small pieces
• 3 c. all-purpose or bread flour
• 1 t. dry mustard
• 1/2 t. salt
• 1/8 t. ground red pepper
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 c. your favorite shredded cheese
• 3/4 c. chopped pepperoni (about 3 oz.)

Put first nine ingredients into bread machine in order recommended by manufacturer. If your machine has a fruit and nut bread setting, use it. Otherwise, during the second kneading (or when your machine does its add-in beep), add the pepperoni and cheese. When bread is done, turn out onto a rack and cool completely. Cut into thick slices and then into strips. Serve as is or toasted with pizza sauce.